I’m sitting on a bench in the hospital where I work, I can hear sounds of different people which is worsening my headache. I can also hear sounds of my heart beating, my breaths all at the same time.
Sometimes even breathing seems such a task to me, as if I’m doing a favor to this body!

This very morning when I heard my senior asking my batch mate regarding his plans for future, I was somehow praying that he shouldn’t be asking me about mine, because I don’t have any.
Since then everything and everyone is worsening my headache!

I often question myself, is it okay not to have any plan? Is it wise not having your life sorted with plan A or plan B?
Since last 15 years of my life that’s what I’ve been doing.
Making flowcharts, trying hard to implement what I’ve planned and luckily every time, everything has fallen into place. If not plan A, then plan B always worked.
This time it’s different because everything is in a mess. Nothing is working as per my flowchart. My working system seems to be dismantled.

It’s difficult for organised people to function when their pattern is snatched away from them.
‘Pattern’, yes my life has a set pattern, which includes studying regularly during semesters, avoiding almost every social gathering with super convincing reasons, cooking when bored and the only idea of fun to me is slipping into my pajamas & having coffee while reading a good book. This is what my happy life looks like, in a nutshell.
Surprisingly inspite of having everything I love, I’m not loving life!
Maybe because my life has set a pattern and maybe it’s not the life, it’s the pattern that I’m no more happy about.

Life is not an office worksheet that should have everything written prior to a project rather life should be a like a game of Scrabble not knowing what move will introduce you to a whole new word. Not knowing, that’s what makes everything interesting I guess!

We spend most of our time planning things for future or cursing the present, what we often forget is in between the unsatisfactory present and worries for future we have totally forgotten to live.
Last night while talking, my best friend told me that he’s not happy with his job, the work doesn’t interest him anymore, this is the job he really prayed for.
After quite a long discussion we realized it’s the monotony in life that is making him unhappy.
The predictability can lessen the charm of some of the most beautiful things in life.
For instance, try eating your favorite ice cream everyday for 2-3 times a day. Knowing that you’ll find it in your freezer every time you open it, would automatically decrease the excitement that you would have felt if you were given the same when you craved it the most.
Similarly, when everything is given to us on a platter, we usually fail to enjoy it, because we don’t really get anytime to sit and think about it, to crave for it, be it a job,a thing or love.
Our analyst inside is not satisfied when things are plain and simple. That’s why we make things difficult for ourselves, giving reasons to self to shift a little from monotony that is being offered. But what should be given a thought here is, was monotony offered to us or we just accepted it because it seemed easy at that time!

If we know the problem, we can certainly find the solutions to it.
Tired of my regular routine, I have recently started learning songs in different languages, now once in a while I ditch coffee and rather have cinnamon tea. Basically, I’ve realized, to be happy we need to seek happiness in small things and for that we do not need any plan. We just need to find out things that fill us up with immense happiness and excitement, be it watching a 90’s cartoons, cooking , dancing or anything.

One day we all will be dead, at different time periods but eventually we all will die. We get to live everyday before dying.
Just imagine that, 1 day of death and 365×(your age) days that you’ll be living. Don’t you think we should make it count? I guess it’s alright, totally okay not knowing what you’ll do next in life, if you are enjoying what you are doing in present.
It’s okay to dive in everyday without a plan.

Sometimes stepping out without an umbrella on a rainy day might give you memories for a lifetime.
Life is too short to be stressed. Rather than trying hard to make our days perfect we need to learn to appreciate the perfect imperfections of small moments.

No you do not live only once,
Life is what you get everyday,
There’s only one death in your account;
Do not let the cold winds dry the elixir of happiness,
You are lucky to be alive,
Better make it count!

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