An hour had passed and I stared so hard
Letting out all the pain from my heart.
I stared for long and
not a single tear dropped out;
Maybe because somewhere inside a fear was building about.
A fear of society?
No! I don’t care about it anymore,
To every voice raised against me I learnt to roar.
I feel uncomfortable in my own skin;
And lower my eyes when it searches for love
As if it is committing some sin.
Walking on the path of my dreams,
My feet now tremble,
I’m turning into someone I cannot anymore resemble;
Cannot resemble with my soul,
A stone that was supposed to be a diamond is now turning into coal.
I feel I’m loosing every bit of myself,
And now holding back together seems such a heavy task;
I feel so tired of myself that I prefer wearing a mask.
So distanced from the loved ones I feel,
I want to tell how much I love them, and what they mean;
I want to throw this burden off my chest,
Cry out loud and tell you it’s becoming very difficult now for me to deal;
Every time I try hard to tell you what I feel,
But with this smile my lips are sealed.
Every night when I shed off this mask;
Thousands of why & why not’s my soul begins to ask.
How terrifying is it, I can’t even begin to tell you;
When you are made to stare inside of you and emptiness prevails you.
How the rain of darkness, darkens your soul and your skin;
It is then you start feeling uncomfortable in your own skin.
In the night when my eyes turn red,
As a few tears fall on my bed;
In the fight between insomnia and sleep,
Insomnia usually wins;
It is then some dreams arouse in my open eyes,
And I shut them quickly, as if they are committing some formidable sin!