It’s quarter to three in the night and I’m aimlessly scrolling through my phone, my eyes are literally swollen, I can’t sleep only because I slept too well in the afternoon, not that I’m always up late overthinking about things.

Wait!
I guess I was actually thinking about something over and over.

I was bothered with the thought that we have entered another year of which two and a half months have passed and the rest of it almost seems like it’s slipping out of my hands, exactly like the previous years.
How many of us have been able to control everything in our life anyway?

The more I go back in time the more I realize the only thing that I could accomplish was, my plan to plan things ahead of time and unfailingly fail at executing them.
I failed because sometimes I wasn’t determined enough to get things done and at times, “the time” had something different in its store for me. But yes I couldn’t really control my life.
I often wonder if anyone of us really can?

It’s been years since I have been gazing at the sky, writing my heart out when talking seems like a tough option to me and passionately having coffee two times a day irrespective of the time and place I’m in.
If anyone asks me how and why I do it daily then the only answer that comes straight out of my heart is this, “Because all of these things resonate with my soul”. Maybe that’s the sole reason why, despite any odd circumstances I do these things daily just like I take a bath, brush my teeth, or simply just as I breathe.

For the past few months, I was going through a pretty tough phase and making choices both professional & personal was tougher than solving a maths problem for me. (If you know me even a little, then you know the only monster I was scared of during my childhood was the subject mathematics)
You know, when you are in such a state where everything is benighted, at that point, every piece of advice and any opinion of anyone is strong enough to make you believe that you will find light if you walk on a path directed by them. I did the same. I ran in the direction I was asked to without thinking only to realize that the light which illuminates somebody’s path might make you blind.

I understood that we all have our own individual journey and it’s our responsibility to find the way to walk on this journey that we decide for ourselves either with someone or all alone.

After experiencing a rough walk on the velvety path that I was directed to, now I’ll walk happily on a wretched road that I have chosen for myself. I guess that is the only control we need in life.
To be able to make choices and work for them.
Every second of our life cannot be planned or control.
Just by making the conventional choices, doing what others think is right, we cannot run away from the adversities of life. Because if we are strong enough to choose the right floor for ourselves then we can manage to dance irrespective of the song played for us.

We need to know what ignites that fire in us, what makes us feel most alive?
And if we haven’t found our answers the least we can do is to try to work in a direction that leads us closer to them.

So if you have managed to read this article till here, I request you to take control over yourself and your choices, no matter how impractical and impossible they seem. As I said earlier have control over the dance floor you pick for yourself. You might stumble and get hurt but the pain that you choose for yourself at the end of the day would be worth it.

Listen closely,
The night is whispering to the winds,
About the dreams you never speak about;
You can hide it from me and yourself too,
But you will feel its presence in the air throughout;
Be brave my precious and protect that dream
That you feel you are nothing without!

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