The Subconscious mind – a store room like no other. A store where things are stored unknowingly, unwillingly!
It’s a cloudy day today and I’m just lollygagging and staring at the moving fan at my ceiling. A ‘no blink challenge’ game that I was playing with my fan was just interrupted by a sudden thought that rushed out of my big store, my subconscious mind to my conscious mind. Since it was pestering me, I thought it’s better to pen it down.
I’ve always been a talkative and a happy go lucky kind of girl. I love being with everyone and I appreciate solitude as well. I can talk about the whole world in one breath and sometimes I’m just into my shell.
I believe we all are like that.
A part of us wants someone and a part that admires absolute solitude. I don’t know about everyone, but personally I can talk with everyone I know. I love talking to different people and love to connect with them at different levels altogether, but when it comes to my deep seated emotions, I don’t really have an ability to put them together in words and share it with someone.
I think telling someone how are you feeling about something, precisely a bad phase is the most difficult task for us. We all somewhere want to pretend that we are strong enough to deal with any ups and downs all alone, but is that easy?

I often go through the posts saying , strongest people hide their emotions well or something like that.
Really? Is that so?
Keeping your emotions to yourself is never healthy, when it is troubling you from inside. So How come a person who does not have gumption to talk about something deep is strong?

After completing my Sr. Secondary, I moved to an another city to prepare for my medical entrance test. I met lots and lots of people, and staying far away from home, I became friends with few who became my family in no time. Those two years were the best part of my life.
Then the time came and we all moved back, taking those golden memories, and best of friendship along!
After an year, on one autumn evening , I was indulged into one book and then I received a text from one of my friends that I had in that city, to inform me that we aren’t friends anymore!! I was shocked, I got to know that it was due to some misunderstanding that she never bothered to clear and a wall was built in no time.
I felt terribly bad and shared this incident with one of my friends, but I fibbed that I don’t care anymore as what’s gone is gone. That was not the truth, honestly I fretted about loosing a friend for no reason and it was always at the back of my mind, troubling me.
Last year, when I and my my best friend were having a deep conversation, I told him that how that fight I had with my friend and things that I claimed I don’t care about are affecting me..Right after my confession and the end of that deep conversation, I was perplexed when I realized that how these little things were affecting my peace of mind and my being in general.

We all have faced ups and downs in life, we all have a friend with whom we ended up on a bad note, we all have some broken dreams, some scars that we never show.
Now a days I see people updating there WhatsApp status like “insomnia” or Sharing things like “feeling sad with 50 others” and that often arises a question in my mind that if you are so restless, so weary because of something that you aren’t able to sleep at night, then instead of sharing it with 300 or 500 people in your friend list who never really care, share it with the one who’s there to listen, the one who cares.

Can you relate to that one moment when years of weight on your heart was loosened up, when you cried your heart out without lying about the things that mattered to you, that made a huge difference in your life?

The only way to a peaceful life is start sharing things, start speaking about the things that hurt you because hiding your feelings doesn’t make you a hero but respecting your feelings and taking stand for yourself does!
A strong person is the one who has peace inside, what you don’t have you can’t give. To give peace and happiness to others you must have it inside of you. Hence I started being as clear as a glass with everyone I met, I stopped taking shit from people.
Whatever is on my mind, now comes out from my mouth. If I’m hurt, I’m hurt, if I’m annoyed , I’m annoyed. Well that’s rarely a good thing but it keeps me happily free and I find my life simple that way!

That silence you keep, is strangely eerie,
It gives you nothing, but makes you teary.

Take off the burden that you can’t bear,
Be honest to yourself, to stay away from this nightmare.

So, Stop fibbing that you don’t care,
Be brave my friend and always share!

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